Comments for Voice of Warriors http://voiceofwarriors.com Bringing Warriors and Communities together through Education, Music and Resources Wed, 05 Jun 2013 13:16:13 +0200 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 Comment on Tips On Being Married To Someone W/ PTSD by Alexandria http://voiceofwarriors.com/2011/05/tips-on-being-married-to-someone-w-ptsd/#comment-1782 Alexandria Wed, 05 Jun 2013 13:16:13 +0000 http://voiceofwarriors.com/?p=552#comment-1782 Hello Tammy I too have a spouse that was deployed to Afghanistan in 2010. He was medevac'd from Afghanistan and since then has been medically retired. He was fine the first year home but hasn't been doing to well since he has been out of the army. He is 26 so that is pretty young to be retired but he is unable to work so to his ptsd and anxiety disorder, its almost like he tried to hide his symptoms for 2 whole years! Now it has become to much for him to handle since we have been back home. He was going to college full time and I have just recently started working part time. He is having to help out more with our two sons 3 and 5 . I know this is a totally different world for him now, I feel like he is going to crack :( . He is starting counseling and meds . im am glad to have found this site because at times I feel like im going to explode this is a very difficult time for both of us. Hello Tammy

I too have a spouse that was deployed to Afghanistan in 2010. He was medevac’d from Afghanistan and since then has been medically retired. He was fine the first year home but hasn’t been doing to well since he has been out of the army. He is 26 so that is pretty young to be retired but he is unable to work so to his ptsd and anxiety disorder, its almost like he tried to hide his symptoms for 2 whole years! Now it has become to much for him to handle since we have been back home. He was going to college full time and I have just recently started working part time. He is having to help out more with our two sons 3 and 5 . I know this is a totally different world for him now, I feel like he is going to crack :( . He is starting counseling and meds . im am glad to have found this site because at times I feel like im going to explode this is a very difficult time for both of us.

]]> Comment on Vietnam Helicopter Pilots Association by Darryl Dickie http://voiceofwarriors.com/2011/03/144/#comment-1780 Darryl Dickie Sun, 02 Jun 2013 22:08:48 +0000 http://voiceofwarriors.com/?p=144#comment-1780 Leslie, I'm alive and well. Let me know if you get this post Darryl Leslie,
I’m alive and well. Let me know if you get this post
Darryl

]]> Comment on Tips On Being Married To Someone W/ PTSD by melissa http://voiceofwarriors.com/2011/05/tips-on-being-married-to-someone-w-ptsd/#comment-1777 melissa Wed, 22 May 2013 18:17:42 +0000 http://voiceofwarriors.com/?p=552#comment-1777 I would suggest he go to a nerby va center. dont label him having ptsd have the dpctors properly diagnose him bc you dnt want him to feel horrible abt having this condition. my fiance had gone through a similar sitiation with the ex wife cheating on his iraq deployment and now we are engaged. its a very hard tough road i mysrlf just posted a statement seeking help but i see in him that going to the va center helps. They have group were its people feeling the same&gets to talk about their experiences. they have couples counseling and counseling just for the women. I would suggest he go to a nerby va center. dont label him having ptsd have the dpctors properly diagnose him bc you dnt want him to feel horrible abt having this condition. my fiance had gone through a similar sitiation with the ex wife cheating on his iraq deployment and now we are engaged. its a very hard tough road i mysrlf just posted a statement seeking help but i see in him that going to the va center helps. They have group were its people feeling the same&gets to talk about their experiences. they have couples counseling and counseling just for the women.

]]> Comment on Tips On Being Married To Someone W/ PTSD by melissa http://voiceofwarriors.com/2011/05/tips-on-being-married-to-someone-w-ptsd/#comment-1776 melissa Wed, 22 May 2013 18:11:38 +0000 http://voiceofwarriors.com/?p=552#comment-1776 Im not quite sure how to start so im just going to go... when i met my fiance in 09 he was a sweet kind very outgoing person. i was only 21 thinking i found the man of my dreams.we had our hard times in the beginning but nothing a relationship couldnt fight for to work itself out. then trust issues came into play we were both faithful but when he would assume&accuse me of bein unfaithful he would become mean&say horrible things. as the relationship progressed somehow we grew closer&decided living together would be the next best thing for us. things really changed. he grew more angry when we would fight our fights lasted hours&violence became the new way to demonstrate his anger. he never beat me but it could be emotional abuse breaking valuables walls throwing things or mean comments that an apology would not fix the problem. were still together trying to get help from the va bc we are plannin a wedding for sept 2014 after 2yrs of engagement but im unsure of how things will be..i want us to be happy o want us to b successful i want a lifetime of hapiness. so ladies im asking if u have any advice to help me understand an iraq war vets anger.how to not have em explode when we disagree. how to help him live his life. how to bring back a young happy soul he once had? Im not quite sure how to start so im just going to go… when i met my fiance in 09 he was a sweet kind very outgoing person. i was only 21 thinking i found the man of my dreams.we had our hard times in the beginning but nothing a relationship couldnt fight for to work itself out. then trust issues came into play we were both faithful but when he would assume&accuse me of bein unfaithful he would become mean&say horrible things. as the relationship progressed somehow we grew closer&decided living together would be the next best thing for us. things really changed. he grew more angry when we would fight our fights lasted hours&violence became the new way to demonstrate his anger. he never beat me but it could be emotional abuse breaking valuables walls throwing things or mean comments that an apology would not fix the problem. were still together trying to get help from the va bc we are plannin a wedding for sept 2014 after 2yrs of engagement but im unsure of how things will be..i want us to be happy o want us to b successful i want a lifetime of hapiness. so ladies im asking if u have any advice to help me understand an iraq war vets anger.how to not have em explode when we disagree. how to help him live his life. how to bring back a young happy soul he once had?

]]> Comment on Tips On Being Married To Someone W/ PTSD by Kim http://voiceofwarriors.com/2011/05/tips-on-being-married-to-someone-w-ptsd/#comment-1774 Kim Tue, 21 May 2013 04:50:25 +0000 http://voiceofwarriors.com/?p=552#comment-1774 My husband was in a unit that totally destroyed his self esteem. He got sent to korea for a year and he is now outprocessing. When he came home he said some really really horrible things to me, and he has told me that he is used to sleeping by himself. I am not sure what to do or how to handle it. The way I have been doing it, is doing a lot of praying, and he thinks that he would be better off by himself in his own little world. He is now talking to me a lot more, and I am not pushing him into talking to me. I let him talk whenever he needs to. I tell him I love him all the time. What else should I be doing? My husband was in a unit that totally destroyed his self esteem. He got sent to korea for a year and he is now outprocessing. When he came home he said some really really horrible things to me, and he has told me that he is used to sleeping by himself. I am not sure what to do or how to handle it. The way I have been doing it, is doing a lot of praying, and he thinks that he would be better off by himself in his own little world. He is now talking to me a lot more, and I am not pushing him into talking to me. I let him talk whenever he needs to. I tell him I love him all the time. What else should I be doing?

]]> Comment on Vietnam Helicopter Pilots Association by Check Vietnam Blog http://voiceofwarriors.com/2013/02/vietnam-helicopter-pilots-association-2/#comment-1773 Check Vietnam Blog Fri, 17 May 2013 18:10:07 +0000 http://voiceofwarriors.com/?p=3096#comment-1773 It's really very complicated in this busy life to listen news on TV, thus I just use internet for that reason, and take the most recent information. It’s really very complicated in this busy life to listen news on TV, thus I just use internet for that reason, and take the most recent information.

]]> Comment on Tips On Being Married To Someone W/ PTSD by Sarah http://voiceofwarriors.com/2011/05/tips-on-being-married-to-someone-w-ptsd/#comment-1772 Sarah Fri, 17 May 2013 12:46:24 +0000 http://voiceofwarriors.com/?p=552#comment-1772 I am not married to a vet but I’ve dated one the past 2+ years and it’s been a similar experience to what I see here. He’s broken up with me multiple times but when he does it, it’s not to date someone else. It is so he can have “his time”. He seems to not know who he is when he is around me or even just in touch with me. He is constantly looking for reassurance that he is “worthy” from the hobby that he is involved in. He is the opposite of “open” and “exploring” so it really amazes me how he could have been all the places he’s been. It’s almost like he’s made himself a prisoner of his own home/community, now. Whenever we have travelled together, he has been uptight, on edge, irritable and really spacey. He doesn’t plan anything for “us”, just for him. He says he is scared to live with me or marry me because he is scared of “what he will do” when he gets angry. He’s never ever scared me so I can’t imagine why his personality would change if we were living together versus separately but all I can do is just nod my head and continue reaching out to him because I do love him. I am living my own life, too, but it’s hard when I feel like I’m the only one fighting for us. I guess he feels like the best he can do is just fight for himself and he really doesn’t have it in him to fight for anything else except just his own survival. I am not married to a vet but I’ve dated one the past 2+ years and it’s been a similar experience to what I see here. He’s broken up with me multiple times but when he does it, it’s not to date someone else. It is so he can have “his time”. He seems to not know who he is when he is around me or even just in touch with me. He is constantly looking for reassurance that he is “worthy” from the hobby that he is involved in. He is the opposite of “open” and “exploring” so it really amazes me how he could have been all the places he’s been. It’s almost like he’s made himself a prisoner of his own home/community, now. Whenever we have travelled together, he has been uptight, on edge, irritable and really spacey. He doesn’t plan anything for “us”, just for him. He says he is scared to live with me or marry me because he is scared of “what he will do” when he gets angry. He’s never ever scared me so I can’t imagine why his personality would change if we were living together versus separately but all I can do is just nod my head and continue reaching out to him because I do love him. I am living my own life, too, but it’s hard when I feel like I’m the only one fighting for us. I guess he feels like the best he can do is just fight for himself and he really doesn’t have it in him to fight for anything else except just his own survival.

]]> Comment on Tips On Being Married To Someone W/ PTSD by Shilla http://voiceofwarriors.com/2011/05/tips-on-being-married-to-someone-w-ptsd/#comment-1771 Shilla Wed, 15 May 2013 22:24:59 +0000 http://voiceofwarriors.com/?p=552#comment-1771 Hi, I am sorry you are going through this. I really think that these guys have been through so much that they have lost their way. I suggest that if you love him you tell him he will not get rid of you that easy; It is your choice to stay and if you wish to go through the healing process with him he needs to give you a chance. Just tell him that you want to work on your relationship with a psychologist! But if he is not willing, it is best that you let him work out his own demons. Otherwise your relationship will suffer either way dragging you down causing you to lose your sense of self. You both deserve happiness in life. Hi,

I am sorry you are going through this. I really think that these guys have been through so much that they have lost their way. I suggest that if you love him you tell him he will not get rid of you that easy; It is your choice to stay and if you wish to go through the healing process with him he needs to give you a chance. Just tell him that you want to work on your relationship with a psychologist! But if he is not willing, it is best that you let him work out his own demons. Otherwise your relationship will suffer either way dragging you down causing you to lose your sense of self. You both deserve happiness in life.

]]> Comment on Tips On Being Married To Someone W/ PTSD by Shilla http://voiceofwarriors.com/2011/05/tips-on-being-married-to-someone-w-ptsd/#comment-1770 Shilla Wed, 15 May 2013 22:04:13 +0000 http://voiceofwarriors.com/?p=552#comment-1770 I have been married for 14 years to a Marine. I always knew he had problems but I finally gave him an ultimatum to get help after he broke a door in half front of the kids. Anyways, he went and got some help from the VA. He is now a different person but still has rage; He is pretty much doped up from the meds. He use to be a hard worker, a fix everything guy, but now I can even get him to drive. I was already fed up with his outburst and always taunting me but now I feel mad knowing I was right all these years and he could of gotten help by now. I can't leave him because he needs me and he always been faithful to me. I am a cancer survivor and I feel overwhelmed dealing with his mood swings. I am to the point I do not want to get up anymore. If it weren't for my kids I don't know if I would be here. I sound selfish, but I am so unhappy that I wish I would of never survived cancer. I have been married for 14 years to a Marine. I always knew he had problems but I finally gave him an ultimatum to get help after he broke a door in half front of the kids. Anyways, he went and got some help from the VA. He is now a different person but still has rage; He is pretty much doped up from the meds. He use to be a hard worker, a fix everything guy, but now I can even get him to drive. I was already fed up with his outburst and always taunting me but now I feel mad knowing I was right all these years and he could of gotten help by now. I can’t leave him because he needs me and he always been faithful to me. I am a cancer survivor and I feel overwhelmed dealing with his mood swings. I am to the point I do not want to get up anymore. If it weren’t for my kids I don’t know if I would be here. I sound selfish, but I am so unhappy that I wish I would of never survived cancer.

]]> Comment on Tips On Being Married To Someone W/ PTSD by Donatella http://voiceofwarriors.com/2011/05/tips-on-being-married-to-someone-w-ptsd/#comment-1768 Donatella Sat, 11 May 2013 06:42:09 +0000 http://voiceofwarriors.com/?p=552#comment-1768 I have been with my boyfriend for three years and they have been ruogh but I love him and have no plans to go anywhere. Sometimes he get in a PTSD moment and all hell breaks loose form anywhere from 3 hours to 3 days. He has told me to leave get th hell out and when I do he always calls me asking me to come home please. There are times when I can tell that we are getting ready for a bad night and other times it just pops up out of no where. I have learned that certain movies, sounds and loud music are triggers. No matter how bad the PTSD. is at the time he is great with children and dogs, we have gotten a rescue dog and it seems to help. I have learned not to let him see me cry that just makes it worse. The face expression has become a blank stare with very little blinking of my eyes, and I always look right in his eyes, so I can see the man I love and know he is still there, he just has demons he battles. I have gotten used to sleeping alone cause of the nights he can't sleep he watches golf. DONT GIVE UP ON YOUR LOVE ONES THEY NEED YOU MORE NOW THEN THEY EVEN KNOW. I have been with my boyfriend for three years and they have been ruogh but I love him and have no plans to go anywhere. Sometimes he get in a PTSD moment and all hell breaks loose form anywhere from 3 hours to 3 days. He has told me to leave get th hell out and when I do he always calls me asking me to come home please. There are times when I can tell that we are getting ready for a bad night and other times it just pops up out of no where. I have learned that certain movies, sounds and loud music are triggers. No matter how bad the PTSD. is at the time he is great with children and dogs, we have gotten a rescue dog and it seems to help. I have learned not to let him see me cry that just makes it worse. The face expression has become a blank stare with very little blinking of my eyes, and I always look right in his eyes, so I can see the man I love and know he is still there, he just has demons he battles. I have gotten used to sleeping alone cause of the nights he can’t sleep he watches golf. DONT GIVE UP ON YOUR LOVE ONES THEY NEED YOU MORE NOW THEN THEY EVEN KNOW.

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